What is the meaning of attachment style?
Attachment styles describe how people behave in relationships, from their desires for closeness and intimacy to their sensitivity to potential relationship threats. But unlike say, the five love languages or the Myers-Briggs personality types, attachment styles are rooted in science.
I really didn’t know about this until I saw my cousin post about reading a book about attachment styles. She recently is getting a divorce after maybe a year of marriage. I’m not close with her but I’m glad she posted about it and maybe I’ll reach out to her so we can discuss what it’s about. Our age gap is around 14 years so to get someone’s perspective that is younger than me going through a divorce will be an interesting one.
There are 4 types of attachment styles:
Secure, Anxious, Fearful/Disorganized, Avoidant
If you don’t know your attachment style, I found a free quiz for you to take:
Because I figured out my attachment style by taking the quiz, it absolutely makes sense why I act the way I act.
I’ll provide some graphics because nobody likes to read a bunch of stuff and seeing things is better anyway.
I found these on Google and there are some attachment styles that my friends and I are so that’s why I was trying to compare a Dismissive-Avoidant vs. a Fearful-Avoidant. I’m going to say if your friends have these types of attachment styles, it may or may not be the best to follow each other’s advice. Maybe the blind is leading the blind?
I also found that some people just don’t want to know their attachment styles because they don’t want to know anything and would rather avoid these things in life. I’m going into a rabbit hole with all of this anyway.
From this post, I’ll move forward to the dating/practicing aspect of it. I’m going to say now that I’m aware of this, I have sent some of these graphics over to people I want to be close to and from that, you’ll be able to see what kind of response you get.
I’d like to add that I know people who are all of these attachment styles (respectively) and there’s nothing wrong with being one or the other. I am going to say that it would be best to find someone who is securely attached because they are ones that are great communicators rather than two people being the same attachment style and things just cannot be understood.
The main thing is, can you communicate your feelings and are you willing to work things out together. If not, then forget it and move on.
The goal here isn’t to change yourself to become securely attached, but to know what’s up and aware of who you are and be more mindful. I enjoyed learning about this and it helped me learn about myself a bit more.
Dating Emojis 